Big Tits Zombie (2010). Five bored strippers, slutty Lena, jailbird Ginko, goth Maria, country girl Darna and den mother Nene in a small town strip club discover a medieval book of the dead. Maria reads the incantations and awakens an army of the undead; the other four strippers must stop them to save the world. That’s pretty much it. The acting is typically OTT, the make-up effects are the worst I’ve ever seen and the CG effects look like they were done on a Commodore 64.
From the title it’s not too much to expect some nudity and zombie action, however there are only two scenes where the strippers get their tops off, around 23 and 62 minutes if you want to fast forward to them! Apart from the opening scene which is replayed in its entirety later in the movie, the first zombie action is at 32 minutes. That should save you some time…
There are a few hilarious moments; after losing a sumo contest, Ginko has to act as a naked sushi bar and especially when Nene for no apparent reason shoots flames out of her vagina! (50 minutes in for those on the fast forward button).
Makes Zombie Strippers look like a great movie.
Quality: 1 out of 5 stars (Badly made in every way)
Any good: 1 out of 5 stars (They lied, not enough nudity or decent zombie action)
Zombie Strippers (2007).
After opening with a poor attempt at some Robocop/Total Recall style future TV news articles we’re straight into the zombie action. Starring Robert Englund and famous porn star Jenna Jameson, and some other porn actresses who I’ve never heard of, really…
This tries to set up the movie with some ridiculous military experiment gone wrong premise; they’ve been trying to make undead super soldiers. After the Marines are called in and fight the zombies, one of the soldiers was bitten and he escapes to a strip club where top stripper Kat (Jenna Jameson) is nekkid on stage; she pretty much remains in various stages of undress for the remainder of the movie. New girl Jessie arrives, she’s a country girl from Nebraska; she’s stripping to make some money for her Nanna’s colostomy operation. The other girls are less than friendly. The girls do a lot of stripping when the soldier attacks Kat and bites her neck… she turns into a zombie and keeps on stripping as a zombie. What a pro. She infects the other girls who keep on stripping… pros. Oh, and they kill all the customers.
There’s a lot of nudity in the movie and a lot of gore. The script, direction and acting are all of porn movie standard. However, some of the effects are done really well, especially the neck bites and there is a lot of blood thrown around. They’ve clearly thrown their money at the girls and the effects department and with a title like ‘Zombie Strippers’ at least they didn’t lie to us and made the correct decision.
Quality: 2 out of 5 stars (a fun beers with mates movie on in the background)
Any good: 2 out of 5 stars (at least they didn’t lie to us, you get what you paid for)
Zombies, Zombies, Zombies (2008).
I saw this on SBS last year during their week long zombie festival. Also set in a strip bar, Rubbish.
As with Zombie Strippers an experiment goes wrong and causes a zombie apocalypse. It’s up to a group of exotic dancers to fight back. Nothing original here, the strippers are attractive enough and the SFX are passable when you take into account the budget. These movies are never going to be great but they serve a purpose and you shouldn’t expect anything more.
Quality: 2 out of 5 stars (give them credit for doing this on such a low budget)
Any good: 1 out of 5 stars (okay if you were drunk with your mates, but not for long)