Reviews, articles, rants & ramblings on the darker side of the media fringe

REVIEW: Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D ***½

If you loved the trashy horror boom of the early 80’s, then Piranha 3D this is a movie for you.

From the opening shot of Richard Dreyfuss on a small fishing boat drinking ‘Amity beer’ and singing ‘Show me the way to go home’ it’s obvious where the film makers have taken their lead and stolen their plot… although to be fair the plot is stolen more from Jaws 2, rather than the original.

Dreyfuss dies before the opening titles after an earthquake opens up a tunnel between the lake and a previously ‘sealed for a million years’ underground lake releasing thousands of prehistoric piranhas.

All this isn’t great timing for small town police Chief Elisabeth Shue as she has thousands of high school kids headed to her lakeside town for summer break. Her older son has to look after his younger siblings and will miss out on the fun… he doesn’t, the kids are at risk and in the middle of saving the townsfolk, Shue has to rescue her kids from the shark, sorry, piranhas…

With the inclusion of boobs (a lot), full nudity (more than expected), horrible teenagers you want to see die (most of the cast) and all in tacked on 3D. It sounds crap but works so well… if as mentioned you love early 80’s trashy horror…

Directed by Alexandre Aja who appears to be one of the more stylish of the new breed of horror directors; Pirahna is a step back in the right direction after the woeful ‘Mirrors (2008)’.

Aja showed with Haute Tension (2003) and the remake of ‘The Hills Have Eyes (2006)’ that he has style and although not exactly substance, he can construct an enjoyable horror film. With this, his fourth horror feature he’s managed to deliver the popcorn movie of the year.

The piranha attacks are great fun, tons of blood and guts thrown around and excellent mangled prosthetic bodies being dragged from the lake at a rapid rate.

The 3D is ok, they manage to throw attacking fish, gore and breasts at the screen at regular intervals and it is done with a sense of frat house humour.

It’s a great movie to watch with a bunch of mates, especially if you just want an escapist 90 minutes of unapologetic dumb fun.

(SPOILER ALERT) The added ‘bonus’ of seeing the (Jerry O’Connell in over-the-top fine form) sleaziest character’s penis being fought over, eaten and vomited up by a couple of ravenous piranhas is tacky, totally unnecessary and therefore totally hilarious.   

Is it any good: 3 out of 5 stars

Is it any fun: 4 out of 5 stars