Reviews, articles, rants & ramblings on the darker side of the media fringe

Movie Reviews by Kids for Kids

Guardians of the Galaxy – By My 8 Year Old Son *****

Guadians-Of-The-Galaxy-2014Guardians of the Galaxy is about a thief called Star Lord, an alien called Gamora, a racoon called Rocket, a tree called Groot and a warrior called Drax who all come together to save the galaxy from Ronan. Star Lord steals an orb which has inside of it the Infinity Stone. The Infinity Stone is so powerful that it can destroy galaxies. Ronan steals the orb with the Infinity Stone and uses its power to attack Xandar. The Guardians of the Galaxy battle Ronan to save the planet.

My favourite parts of the movie are the start when Star Lord dances to the song called ‘Hooked On A Feeling’ by Blue Swede. I also  like when the Guardians first come together in the prison to escape, it’s funny and chaos all in one. I like Star Lord because he’s funny and cool.

Guardians of the Galaxy is the BEST movie of the year. I give it 10 stars and I can’t wait for a next movie.


Maleficent – By My 4 Year Old Daughter *****

maleficent

My son has been writing reviews on this site for a few years now, he’s 8. We went to see Maleficent and although my wife and I thought it would be too scary for our 4 year old she was desperate to see it as she loves the Disney Princess series of features. After trying to explain a five star review system (a few times) she consistently gave it twenty stars. Here is her review…

Maleficent was like good. I loved the movie. I loved that Maleficent did good stuff. I loved all the powerful spells she did. I think Maleficent was beautiful and I loved her.

I liked it when Maleficent kissed Aurora, and when the fairies kept Aurora in the cottage and Maleficent visited.

Some bits were scary. The dragon bit and when Maleficent got angry, and some of the creatures in the forest. I liked it when Maleficent sent her armies to fight.

I love Maleficent because she’s from my favourite princess movie, Sleeping Beauty.

 


Godzilla – By My 8 Year Old Son *****

Godzilla_bannerGodzilla is about Godzilla versus MUTO which means ‘Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism’.

Scientists discover a giant fossil and one egg which has hatched and one egg which has been damaged. The egg that had hatched was MUTO and he went to Japan and destroyed a nuclear power plant.  He feeds on nuclear radiation and grows stronger/massive.

After 15 years MUTO outside the old nuclear area, MUTO attacks breaks free. He goes to America where a female MUTO destroys Las Vegas.

SPOILER ALERT Then Godzilla follows them and fights the male MUTO and he slams it into a building and it dies. After that the building collapses on Godzilla and everyone thinks he’s dead. The female MUTO lays some eggs and tries to stop a boat with a nuclear missile on it, but Godzilla has a massive battle with her and blasts plasma down her throat and tears off her head.

godzilla_2014_textless-posterMy favourite part was in San Francisco where everyone was relaxing and on the tv news it was saying ‘Las Vegas Attack’ and no one was taking any notice until the wall smashed and MUTO was outside. My other favourite part was when the firemen broke down a door and the Elvis Presley song that me and Dad sing to my sister was playing and then the firemen look outside because the wall is destroyed. All these other buildings with MUTO destroying most of the city and all these helicopters flying around that’s when the song goes: “You’re the Devil in disguise”

It was awesome, I give it 5 out of 5 stars  ;D


Amazing Spider-Man 2: Rise of Electro – By My 8 Year Old Son

The-Amazing-Spiderman-2_Rise-of-ElectroI took my 8 year old son and 2 of his friends to see Spider-Man 2 last weekend… it’s taken a while for his review. I didn’t think any of them enjoyed it that much (I didn’t) but apparently I was wrong…

Spider-Man 2 is just Spider-Man in a different suit from the old movies. This time he’s fighting Electro, Green Goblin and Rhino. It’s like The Amazing Spider-Man movie.

My favorite part was when Spider-Man stooped a criminal at the beginning, he shot webs at both his arms sticking them out wide, then his mouth and then pulled down his pants with a web and then walked away and did a cool pose with his hand in the background when a machine gun fell on the criminals head and knocked him out.

MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT It was a surprise when Gwen Stacy died at the end. I gave it 4 stars.


Robocop by my 8 Year Old Son *****

robocop-2014-1280x800Robocop is about a man inside a machine, like what Cyborg says “It’s the man not the machine”. He starts as an agent who is almost killed by a bomb in his car. They put robot armour on him; they then change him by giving him robo vision which he can tell if the guy is a criminal or wanted by the law. He can see whatever crime scene whenever it’s happening.

Robocop_2014_posterThere is lots of action and violence. The film is fun as there is an awesome way to play laser-tag in the movie. The best bit in the movie is when Robocop flies through a door on his motorbike with timed bombs and bullets flying into another room. The room is pitch black and filled with guys with night-vision and machine guns. Robocop jumps out and shoots them all and runs through the room and plays laser-tag!

I give it 5 out of 5 stars.


Thor 2 – Reviewed by my 8 Year Old Son

Thor-2-The-Dark-World_Banner1Thor is about these creatures called “Dark Elves” who was led by the chief elf Malekith who lived before us in a dark universe but was defeated by Asguardians 5000 years ago. But Malekith  survived and is looking for the ether to help him destroy Asguard.
Thor needs Loki’s help to defeat Malekith but they don’t trust each other.
My favourite bits are near the start when a giant rock creature walks up to Thor and he smashes it to pieces, and asks everyone “anyone else.” And all the bad guys bow down, and one of Thor’s friends says “next time lets start with the big one”
The other funny bit is when the scientist called Eric is on the tv news naked and his private parts are pixeled out.
I liked it, it was good fun.

I gave it Thor and a half stars.

Thor-2-The-Dark-World_Banner2


The Wolverine by my 7 year old Son ****½

The Wolverine_Poster ArtA delayed review from my son as he wasn’t really that interested in seeing The Wolverine on initial release. I couldn’t understand why as it seemed to have most of the ingredients he likes: Comic book superheroes battling bad guys… When I asked why he wasn’t keen, he said that “Wolverine just ‘complains’ all the time, it’s boring” Anyway, we eventually saw it, here’s the inevitable review… albeit more synopsis than review:

The Wolverine starts in an army prison in Japan, the Wolverine is a soldier and he’s locked in an empty iron well. A nuclear bomb gets dropped on a Japanese city (Nagasaki) and Wolverine saves one of the Japanese soldiers.

A few years pass and Wolverine is in the mountains with a beard. He is friends with a bear, then some guys kill the bear with poison arrows. Wolverine takes one of the poison arrows and stabs it in the guys hand and he says “It’s poison” then pours some beer on his hand.

Then a Japanese girl, who is like a Ninja, arrives and takes him to Japan where he meets the soldier that he saved in Japan. The old guy dies and Wolverine gets a haircut and at the funeral Wolverine won’t get back in line because he is suspicious of some bad  guys. Soon an army of bad guys come to the funeral to take the old mans grand-daughter away but Wolverine and an archer save her. Then he is on a bullet train and washes his wounds , just then he fights some bad guys!

He wakes up and Viper takes some of his mutant power away so he wont heal. He takes the girl to her old house which is where the old prison was. He does work chopping up a tree on the road, then some bad guys take the girl away. When he’s on his way to save the girl that’s when Wolverine fights 40 Ninjas but he gets about 23 poisoned arrows in his back and he gets caught.

SPOILER ALERT: He then has to fight a giant adamantium Samurai the ninja girl fights Viper. Viper shedded her snakeskin. Wolverine sees that inside the adamantium samurai is the dead old Japanese man.

I give it 4½ stars. Because there’s not much fighting and a lot of talking.