Reviews, articles, rants & ramblings on the darker side of the media fringe

The Wolverine by my 7 year old Son ****½

The Wolverine_Poster ArtA delayed review from my son as he wasn’t really that interested in seeing The Wolverine on initial release. I couldn’t understand why as it seemed to have most of the ingredients he likes: Comic book superheroes battling bad guys… When I asked why he wasn’t keen, he said that “Wolverine just ‘complains’ all the time, it’s boring” Anyway, we eventually saw it, here’s the inevitable review… albeit more synopsis than review:

The Wolverine starts in an army prison in Japan, the Wolverine is a soldier and he’s locked in an empty iron well. A nuclear bomb gets dropped on a Japanese city (Nagasaki) and Wolverine saves one of the Japanese soldiers.

A few years pass and Wolverine is in the mountains with a beard. He is friends with a bear, then some guys kill the bear with poison arrows. Wolverine takes one of the poison arrows and stabs it in the guys hand and he says “It’s poison” then pours some beer on his hand.

Then a Japanese girl, who is like a Ninja, arrives and takes him to Japan where he meets the soldier that he saved in Japan. The old guy dies and Wolverine gets a haircut and at the funeral Wolverine won’t get back in line because he is suspicious of some bad  guys. Soon an army of bad guys come to the funeral to take the old mans grand-daughter away but Wolverine and an archer save her. Then he is on a bullet train and washes his wounds , just then he fights some bad guys!

He wakes up and Viper takes some of his mutant power away so he wont heal. He takes the girl to her old house which is where the old prison was. He does work chopping up a tree on the road, then some bad guys take the girl away. When he’s on his way to save the girl that’s when Wolverine fights 40 Ninjas but he gets about 23 poisoned arrows in his back and he gets caught.

SPOILER ALERT: He then has to fight a giant adamantium Samurai the ninja girl fights Viper. Viper shedded her snakeskin. Wolverine sees that inside the adamantium samurai is the dead old Japanese man.

I give it 4½ stars. Because there’s not much fighting and a lot of talking.

One response

  1. Yoyo

    Wonderful review. I give the reviewer ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for an outstanding summaries of the movie.

    September 2, 2013 at 1:57 pm

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